Female Body Inspector: If only the FBI handled airport security screening

The CS Monitor has a hilarious article on airport security, which unfortunately will only add fuel to the fire of TSA paranoia.

TSA warning describes surgically implanted bombs

TSA warning: If terrorists hide bombs inside their bodies, current screening measures may be useless.


While I don’t want to discount the threat of terrorism or the willingness and ability of terrorists to innovate, the way that this new threat is described is amazing in the way that it seems to clearly be based on very tenuous speculation.

Surgery to implant explosives could be done a couple of days before a planned attack, said James Crippin, an explosives expert in Colorado. In order for it to work, there would need to be a detonation device, and it’s conceivable that if the explosive was implanted in a woman’s breast, the detonator could be underneath the breast so that all the operative would have to do is press downward, Crippin said.

Huh? Or, under their arm or in the fat folds of the obese. . . Now, I’m not an expert in explosives, but it seems to me that all it takes to be a airport security expert is the ability to extrapolate dangerous situations from broad premises. But don’t worry, the TSA has also pointed out ways to remain effectively vigilant.

The memo offered possible indicators of surgically implanted contraband, including a distended stomach or other unusual bulging, and visible physical discomfort from a pat-down.

So, just make sure you don’t have a hernia or are turned on by full-body searches and you should be ok. We should, however, remember that terrorists are a crafty lot.

White House spokesman Jay Carney said U.S. counterterrorism efforts must evolve as terror groups publicly indicate their interest in finding ways to conceal explosives.

“The idea that terrorists have been looking for other ways to circumvent security measures to target aircraft is not at all surprising,” Carney said. . .

The al-Qaida offshoot in Yemen has emerged as the most inventive terror organization these days and has been behind two plots that nearly brought down planes over the U.S. The group, known as al-Qaida in the Arabian Peninsula, or AQAP, was behind the Christmas Day attack in 2009 when a Nigerian hid a bomb in his underpants and nearly brought down an airliner over Detroit.

Yes, let’s not forget that we are dealing with the geniuses who let a crazy kid on a plane who ended up setting his pants on fire.



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